Advice For The Unemployed

     There are fewer events in one's life that create more vulnerability than losing a job. I have recently become painfully aware of such vulnerability, being dismissed from my employment of eleven years due to a reorganization of my employer's work force. The emotions of unemployment range from sadness to anger along the continuum of job loss, and I understand how it can lead one to become depressed, complacent, and acquiescent. Especially in a flaccid economy like we have been experiencing the last six to seven years,
     Nothing I can say will placate the feelings of rejection that result from being let go from a job, especially when it is for reasons unrelated to the individual's job performance. Unemployment is a status just about everyone will experience in life, some more than others. But those who deal with it as a bump in the road as opposed to a sojourn through a dark and unexplored jungle, will inevitably survive the experience and thrive as a result.
     The first thing one must do upon losing a job is to stay in a routine. Get up early every morning, shower, and dress for the day. If nothing else, this act of participation in the ethos of work will prepare one for the eventual return to work. The small sense of accomplishment one gets from preparing to engage in the world as it is, instead of languishing in depression over the world as it was, will clear the mind of negative thoughts so new opportunities may reveal themselves.
     It is not easy, but one must actively seek work every day, this is the "job" now. Attack it with vigor, or if vigor is in short supply, "Fake it 'Till You Make it.". Set the attainable goal of applying for at least one job position a day. Again, this will nurture a sense of accomplishment and will build upon itself. It will also mitigate the feeling of rejection that may result from applying for too many positions at a time or none at all. Slow and steady wins the race. It is better to spread out the job search effort so that every day the seeker is doing something towards attaining employment.
     The most important part of being unemployed is to keep emotions as level as possible. Do not take the rejections too hard, or get too excited about potential job opportunities. The job search is an odyssey of ups and downs, mitigation of both will lead to less chance of depression and anxiety. Even in a slow moving economy there are opportunities. One must not limit oneself to only positions comparable to the position just lost. New careers usually rise up in the ashes of old ones. And above all repeal depression by always being grateful for what you do have, not saddened for what you have lost.
    
        

Robin Williams: Product Of The Overly Examined Life

     I did not know much about the personal life of the late comedian, Robin Williams. I did not think much of his comedy, and his acting was competent only when he worked with a director that could mitigate Mr. Williams' personality. I know, some readers may be saying that I should not talk ill of the dead. Well the intent of this post is not to speak ill of the deceased Mr. Williams, but to understand and define what lead to his desperate final act.
     Having not known Robin Williams personally, I can still draw some accurate conclusions about him, not from the way he lived, but from the way in which he died. I know, for example, that he was not only a self-absorbed individual, as most addicts are, but an ungrateful one as well. Anyone who would allow depression to guide them into suicide can not be thankful or grateful for the good things in one's life. And from all appearances, Mr. Williams had much to be grateful for, a loving family, a successful career, and the ardor of millions of fans.
     I think those who have lionized him after his death from extreme selfishness have made the mistake of confusing celebrity with importance. They have confused the commodity of comedy with a substantive contribution to mankind. They have confused a pampered self-centered star with a person of substance and rectitude. While thousands of Christians throughout the world are having the Islamist's sword put to their throats for refusing to abandon their faith, Robin Williams voluntarily put a rope around his because he had no faith.
     He had no faith in his family to occupy a more important place in his life than his addictions. He had no faith in God who blessed his life in so many ways, all of which Mr. Williams threw back at Him with his final act. He had no faith in himself to be stronger than any demons that may have haunted him. Worst of all, Mr. Williams had no faith in life itself to meander into happiness and to take up residence in contentment for those who seek it.
     The lesson to be gleaned from the selfish death of Robin Williams is that life must always be lived outside the individual. Those who intensely focus on self to the exclusion of gratefulness and thanksgiving will invariably be left alone with the demons that reside in all of us. And those demons feed on selfish thoughts and acts, like depression and drug addiction. The affliction of inward thinking can lead one to feel very alone in the world. Socrates stated that, "The unexamined life is not worth living." But the overly-examined life leaves no room for living. And the overly-examined life feeds the demons of addiction and depression that grow in the garden of discontent. Robin Williams, unfortunately for his family and friends, was a product of the overly-examined life.

Death's Warm Embrace

     Yesterday, as I was signing up for a BJs membership to replace the Costco one I terminated after they let their Left-wing politics mar an otherwise good business, I was having a discussion with a friend about death. Yeah, I know, sounds like a great Sunday afternoon. But the discussion was not so much about our deaths, but how our culture has become less mature in how we deal with death in general. For as technologically advanced as we have become as a society, we have regressed on the issue of death to a level of immaturity not even held by our ancient ancestors.
     People of other eras in history would lose a loved one, grieve for a respectful amount of time, and then go on living their lives. We, with all our trappings of modernity, lose a loved one, grieve an excessive amount of time, think of ourselves as victims for having gone through this basic eventuality of life, and sometimes spend thousands of dollars on therapy. Our forbearers, while they never forgot their departed loved ones, would turn their grief to the essential task of survival.
     Therein lies the crux of the matter, our abundance of free time to dwell on these common events of life experienced by everyone who has ever lived, or will ever live. No one escapes this earth without dying, and without experiencing the death of those close to us. But many have turned this normal occurrence into an opportunity to gain sympathy as a victim. This is a result, I think, of the ideology of the Left that has venerated victim hood and has implemented a reward system for personal weakness.
      The hero worship of victims promulgated by the Left, in combination with less of our energy and thought having to be spent on survival, has lead to the normality of death being treated as an anomaly. When one considers that the average American spends just under 40 hours a week working to provide for themselves and their families, according to the Labor Department, it is no wonder we have become neurotic about death.
     Additionally, the ever increasing number of hours that the average American spends watching TV, has overtaken the number of hours they spend working. This has contributed to the lines between fiction and reality being blurred in the minds of many. I am amazed and shocked, living without any TV except DVDs, how much of some people's entire life experience is wrapped up in the fictional lives of those they watch on television. This, in my estimation, has lead to a skewed sense of reality in these persons, who then are unable to shoulder the typical burdens of life, like death.
     Death has become the ultimate pass into the club car of sympathy on the train to victim hood for those left behind by the decedent. I have news for those victims, we are all going to die. Death is immaterial compared to how we all spend our time while on this earth, however many years we are granted. Grieve for those you have loss, and then set about the task of making your life, the lives of those around you, and your piece of the world a little better before you too must leave it and head towards the enlightenment of death's warm embrace.
    

Living Present In The Moment

    If I was called away from this planet tomorrow by my Heavenly Father, and I could only leave one message for my grandchildren and all the children to come, it would be that unless one lives present in the moment, all the lessons of the past are useless and the successes of the future disappear like vapor. For it is how we use yesterday's information today that makes for a better tomorrow. This may seem obvious and somewhat trite to some, but it has been a hard fought lesson in my life.
    In the daily pursuit of a better self, one must constantly do battle with the demons that are rooted in the frailties of human beings. There are those who believe that human beings are, at their very core, good. But this is a mistake, for there is no greater vessel of larceny than the human heart. The corruption and vice that lurks beneath the surface of human beings has no equal in any other living thing on earth. Animals operate on instinct, which allows no room for pettiness, jealousy, and myriad other character flaws only resident in human beings. But the ability of humans to consciously battle these demons of our nature and become higher spiritual beings is something unique to our species.
    I have spent a substantial portion of my life allowing the pettiness of such human behaviors as jealousy, greed, sloth, anger, lust, and others distract me from the present, thereby negatively affecting my future. I have recognized that successful persons stay focused on the present using the lessons they have learned from past failures. I think it was Abraham Lincoln who wisely pointed out that failure was a much more apt teacher than success. And a man who not only learns from his failure, but others as well, is not only successful, but wise. There is no better place to implement the lessons of the past than in the present. If one's focus is stuck in the past, or racing ahead to the future, it leaves to little energy for the present, where life is ultimately lived.
     Staying present in the moment to achieve success in life can be compared to playing poker. In poker, it is not so much the cards one is dealt that leads to success, but rather how they are played. One can easily lose with a winning hand if they allow themselves to be bluffed into giving up. And the inverse is also true, i.e., a losing hand can win by the player's representation of a better hand than he actually has. But success, whether in poker or life, can not be possessed in the past or the future, but only in the present. The way in which the present is lived can actually change the past, for the present is the past when gazed at from the precipice of the future.
     So give the past only the attention to its lessons and the future only a fleeting glance of desired destinations, but give the present your energy, talents, and ambitions. Do good in the present, for yourself and others, and let the past sleep and the future awaken as it may.

The Inherent Unhappiness Of Leftism

     Ask just about anyone you meet and they will say that they want to be happy. It is such a driving force in the human condition, that some will try to attain it through acquiring material things, and some even by subjecting themselves to the counter-happiness behavior inherent in drug and alcohol abuse. The concept of happiness was so important to the Founders of this great nation that they gave prominence to its pursuit in the United States Constitution. But with all the talk of happiness, its constant companion, appreciation, is conspicuously missing from many persons' quest for this seemingly fleeting of all states of the human mind and heart.
     I have discovered throughout my life that the happiest people are those that are appreciative of life, even if it offers them only meager blessings. There is very little doubt that one can be happy without appreciation, it is the spirit that inspires the choices and decisions that lead to the very inner sanctum of happiness. The engagement of good decisions based on the core values of righteousness taught through time, may not always lead to material wealth, but it will lead one to happiness.
     The fact that Conservatives have been found to be happier than those on the Left in several studies, is no surprise. The Leftist ideology engenders unhappiness by its core belief and teaching that others who have more material wealth are to be despised and the target of government confiscation of that wealth. Leftism does not value appreciation but envy and jealousy, which will lead no one to a happier life.
     Happiness is a function of having control over one's life and making decisions that lead to more independence, Leftism teaches just the opposite. In the Leftist world, dependence on government is a sacrament bestowed upon the practitioners of the faith almost from birth. The more dependence one has on anyone or anything, the less self-worth they feel and happiness will allude them. This is why the Leftist ideology is so destructive, it "rewards" bad behavior and wisdom-less choices with crumbs leftover from government-confiscated tax dollars, thereby stealing the individuals ambition, desire, and in the end, their self-worth.
     Happiness dos not come from other people's money or even material things purchased with one's own money. Happiness is created from a sense of well being that can only exist as a result of a morally balanced life whose choices and decisions have lead the individual to real accomplishments and inner satisfaction. Development and feeding of the human spirit is essential to happiness and is anathema to the Leftist ideology because it fosters responsibility, self-reliance, and independence. Our Founders knew that a people pursuing their own happiness would make better citizens and create opportunities for others to secure their happiness. And a happy nation would be more prosperous and advance the cause of liberty and freedom not only at home, but throughout the world.   

Everything I Know About Life I learned From Golf

     It is a shame that for most of us, time living on this planet is the only thing which increases our knowledge of the best way to live. It seems by the time you have it figured out, you can be too old to reap the benefits of your hard fought wisdom. I love the game golf and play as much as I can. I was recently reflecting on how those things which makes one a better golfer, can also make one more successful in other aspects of life as well. Following are some things I have learned that contribute to a good round of golf, but can also contribute to a better life as well.
     In the game of golf, as in life, it is important to live in the present and stay focused on your current task at hand. In golf, one must focus on the present shot and the swing needed to execute it. The last shot, whether it was successful or not, is in the past and can not be changed. The next shot may be dependent on what is accomplished with the present one. So it is with life, one can not change the past and can only affect the future by the actions taken in the present. 
     One of the most common errors that people make when golfing is taking their eye off the ball during their swing and looking up. This results from a tendency to look where the ball is going before the club head makes contact with it. Looking up during the swing can result in the club not making solid contact with the ball, causing a bad shot. The same is true for life in a way. If one substitutes a focus on today's requirements for tomorrow's promise of success, i.e., "looking up", failure may be the result. 
     When I was a child, learning the game of golf from my father, he always told me to swing the club slowly and evenly and let it do the work. I relate this advice to life in as much as success is built over time and can not be rushed. One can not hurriedly execute the requirements of success, for that will almost always lead to failure and disappointment. In Golf, as in life, one must find a certain rhythm and timing that allows for consistent execution.  
     One of the hardest lessons of golf and life for me has always been not allowing myself to be affected by previous failures or successes. A bad shot must be learned from and then forgotten, otherwise it could affect the current one. Conversely, a great shot must be modestly celebrated and put in its proper perspective. Allowing one's emotions, whether it is anger over a failure or joy over a success, to dominate the present, is the best recipe for losing focus on the current task at hand, whether one is playing golf or living life.
     And finally, to achieve success in golf, one must keep one's feet firmly planted on the ground. Firmly planting the feet far enough apart to achieve balance and strength is important to a good golf swing and in living life. The things in golf which contribute to a solid stance are quality golf shoes and strong legs. In life, a solid stance is achieved through strong adherence to principles, values and faith. Life is also like golf in one more aspect, both are to be enjoyed, but that enjoyment comes as a result of hard work and practice and is not just bestowed as a gift.     
    

The Four Keys To Happiness

     Everyone has met people in the course of their lives that seem to not have a care in the world and are always happy. The natural reaction is to think the person is extremely lucky or lives some sort of charmed life. I use to feel this way myself, but as I have traveled the road of life I have discovered that there isn't a person alive that doesn't have problems. And the individual can choose to meet their challenges with a happy disposition or an unhappy one. I have come to realize in my life that there are four keys to happiness which I hope you will find helpful in yours. I must give credit to Dennis Prager for setting me on the road to thinking through the happiness issue and for being a major influence on what you are about to read.
     Fake it 'till you make it: Each one of us has an obligation to our fellow human beings not to inflict our bad mood and unhappiness on them. If we are not feeling particularly happy, it is essential that we act happy in the presence of others. Just as we would bathe and brush our teeth in order to avoid inflicting bad ordors on people, we must bathe our atitiude in happiness in order to not inflict our bad mood on them as well. In acting happy even when we are not, we actually begin to attain happiness for real. Happiness is the same as any other human endeavor, it must be cultivated and practiced. One can not become proficient at playing a muscial instrument if they never pick it up and practice. So it is with happiness, the more one pratices it, i.e. fake it 'till you make it, the better one will become at being happy.
     Expend more energy in others happiness than your own: I once read that depression is a very selfish affliction that requires the individual to dwell completely within themselves and focus only on their problems. The literature I was reading suggested that the best way for someone to fight depression was to help other people and focus on something other than themselves. So it is with happiness. I have found that my greatest happiness comes from making other people happy, not in selfish pursuits that I thought would make me happy. That's not to say that one can't derive great pleasure and happiness from soletary pursuits such as reading a good book, but people who are generally selfish are not normally happy. My theory is that the happiness you inculcate in others is returned to you in a multiplied state.
     Do the right thing, not the thing that feels good: There are many people who feel that a fulfilled and happy life is the result of always doing what feels good at any given time. This idea began to germinate in the 1960s with the counter-culture and it taught people that being selfish was the road to happiness Nirvana. I believe, from my own life's experience and those I have known, that the surest way to happiness is by doing the right thing. When one lives a balanced life of meeting their responsibilties to something greater than themselves, they create a space for happiness to exist. I have found that the times in my life when I am most happy is when I am living day to day doing the things I should, not necessarily the things I want. This is because wants come from the heart, and following the heart is the quickest path to ruination.
     Count your blessings, not your problems: My motto for the last 10 to 15 years has been this, "There are 7 billion people in the world and I am sure that at least half of them would gladly change places with me and live my life, so stop complaining about this problem or that one." A more general, and more succint, motto would be, "Count your blessings." Everyone has blessings, if you are breathing you have life which is the greatest blessing of all. Start from there and focus on those things in your life which are good. If you have eaten today, that is a blessing. So many of us become accustomed to the basic blessings we have that we don't even consider them blessings. True happiness walks down the road of life hand-in-hand with gratitude. Those who are the most thankful for what they have, no matter how little it is, are generally the most happy.
     Well there it is, my four keys to happiness. What it all boils down to is that each one of us has the ability to choose happiness. Happiness is not bestowed upon certain people at birth and not on others. It does not come as the result of wealth, there are many wealthy people who are extremely unhappy. As you go about your daily life look for opportunities to be happy, even in the worst of situations. Because if you can achieve a level of happiness in the worst situations, then how much easier will it be to achieve in every day life.